The Divorce Anthropologist

I am divorced, single partly by choice and partly from a lack of choice. I have founded and operated a national web site supporting people going through divorce. Having been through it myself some 8 years ago I have a great deal of empathy for the issues, feelings, obstacles and injustices that women, men and children, face throughout the separation period. Dealing with your ex, in-laws, friends and family, government services, non profit agencies, doctors, lawyers, advocates, police and counselors is a daunting and can be emotionally debilitating. In short information is power and without information and understanding your personal power and decisions can be taken away from you. We encourage you to be informed about divorce, social and political thinking, and resources available to you.

Divorce is a growth market and sadly will continue to be unless society begins to debate the pros and cons of family relationships. The website http://www.divorce.co.nz was founded in 2004 and has grown in interest with visitors from over 20 countries reading content on the site. Whilst it has a steadily growing readership divorcees do not want to openly interact. They seek to be private and anonymous.

Despite the probability of ending up divorced being around 50% divorce is still heavily stigmatized. Those going through divorce feel incredibly guilty and hurt and this prevents them from sharing their experiences openly. It’s just not okay to talk about your own divorce problems…. even if it is anonymously.

This Blog has been started to try and stimulate debate, amongst divorced, married, young and old, academic and government participants. Every viewpoint deserves to be a part of this debate. Maybe then we may come to understand the reasons behind the social breakdown of the traditional western family unit and come to understand what might and could replace it and ensure our continued ability to raise a healthy new generation.

Divorce is a consequence of circumstances, yes we have some personal input but relationships are not entirely due to our personal efforts nor our inherited behaviour. Much of our decision making is made in the light of social and political legislation of the day. In opposition to current socio-political thinking are the thoughts of citizens many of which are founded on beliefs and values of past generations. You can change laws and legislation, environments but the way people think and behave will not change at the same pace.

I am The Divorce Anthropologist and look forward to provoking thought, discussion and action to create better understanding of divorce and enable you as individuals to create better futures for yourselves and your families.